A Feeling When You Care

Shadows and hope

Time and space

All the things we don’t notice

As we co-exist in this house

Strangers that put on a face

Acting like nothing changed

Nothing is ever wrong

When I don’t feel anything

Hurt is a feeling when you care

But I’m past that point

The love I had is non-existent

I can’t quite say when

I just know it died some time ago

Probably about the same time

For you as well

I guess I’m just waiting

For one of us to call it

Cause we can stay or leave

I just know

I won’t love you either way

Almost Like It Was Destiny

You fell in love

Hopeful from the start

The sparkle in his eyes

The way they held yours

Almost like it was destiny

Yet all that glitters isn’t pure

The months came and went

The interest fading

Losing its glimmer

Some nights you couldn’t sleep

Losing all track of time

Going round and round

Analyzing everything

Was it as special as you thought

Had it ever been really true

Or just a whimsical thought

Something invented

You try to pinpoint

When he stopped reciprocating

When it all started to unravel

But now it’s time to part

To let bygones go

Leave and be alone

Even as you know it will be hard

As you know

You’ll never hold him again

A Reflection To Remember

I see you in the windows

I see you in the mirrors

Everywhere I see you

A reflection to remember

I don’t know if you ever left

Always around

Always there

Staring back at me

As I sit here

The candle light illuminating

I see your shadow

Not so much a friend

As a haunted memory

A past neglected

I want you gone

Yet now I’m used to you

A companion

To the loneliness

A partner I never asked for

Until I close my eyes

The only reprieve

I seem to be able to attain

Clean And Unadulterated

Do you ever dream in color

Or is it black and white

Living creatures of your mind

Your imagination so vivid

So clean and unadulterated

Hanging on till your eyes open

Is it all peaceful

Does it ever become the nightmare

You all alone

Shivering in the cold

The mist hanging heavily

Seeking out you

Trying to capture you

A prisoner in a cell

Of your own creation

Lonely and somber

Seeking rescue

As it becomes clear

You are alone

Lost and without hope

Screaming…and no one hears

Only One Way

Knocking on my heart

Trying to find a reason

Something to hold on to

Some sort of meaning

I’m unsure

You don’t seem to notice

You just go your own way

Leaving me behind

As if it’s all alright

No trouble or worry

For you to see

Yet the sun comes up

And it goes back down

No word from you

No one coming for me

No one there

Even as I wonder

Do I stay or do I go

What is to become of me

If I stay

I wonder if you would notice

That I’ve left

That I walked away

Only one way to find out

Keep Drawing Me Back

Intense

Beyond comparison

Descriptors or anything

The way I feel for you

Moments that are

Crazy and erratic

Dark and moody

Brilliant and shining

All the insane moments

They keep drawing me back

To you

The one I know I love

Something I can’t fight

No matter how hard I try

I wind up back here

The passion ever erupting

Especially when I see you

Like tonight

In this restaurant

Where I plan to pop the question

Reaching Closer To You

Like a brick wall

You fight me at every turn

You would think I’d give up

That I would walk away

I can’t seem to

I come back ready

To scale the wall

On to the next one

Ready for it all

Reaching closer to you

Love does funny things

To a person

You close up

And I stay right here

Waiting for you

Knowing the time will come

When I can get to you

Open and listening

Cause I can’t explain it

Only just knowing

Love will guide me through

Always…back to you

A Background Notion

Patience is a gift

Something you have or you don’t

You can try all you want

If you can’t hold on

You can only let go

Jealousy is the color of jade

Yet patience is one you can’t pick

It’s not like anger

Where the red is all consuming

Holding on to everything in sight

Destruction all around

Forgiveness a background notion

Yet here you are

Standing at the crossroads

Hope a gleaming mirage

So close yet so far away

Just out of accessible reach

Like a taunting memory

Pieces That We Never Show

You stand there

Looking right at me

I can see the gears turning

Trying to figure me out

I know you never will

Like I’ll never know you either

Pieces that we never show

Hidden and locked away

For our protection

As well as each other’s

Things we’ve kept in the dark

Never letting the light or air in

Fearful of the world knowing

Deep, dark secrets

Yet you keep staring

Matching the way I look back

Neither of us willing to give

To let the other win

We don’t know how to let it go

To move past moments

To let each other go

To move on

To give each other a pass

To get it back to good

Waiting...

Here I am

After all this time

Holding on

Praying for the best

Holding out for you

Thinking of you, day in and day out

Hoping for your safe return

I keep hearing your voice

As I pleaded for you to stay

Yet you walked away

Wanting to find the truth

A path for you had to walk

A search for deeper meaning

One I couldn’t accompany

So I stayed here

Waiting…

Let Go Of Your Memory

I told myself I would come

Meet someone new

Try to move on

Let go of the past

Let go of your memory

I haven’t tried just yet

I couldn’t bear to

You’re still stuck in my heart

A love that won’t let go

Hanging on by a thread

One I haven’t been able to pull

Yet here I am driving

To the coffee shop

A first step in relinquishing

The past and setting you free

The traffic’s not bad

I arrive first and sit down

My hands become a little sweaty

I know it can’t hurt

It’s just a cup of coffee

I'm Glad To See You

I knew one day I’d see you

Just a matter of time

Two exes running into each other

It’s what happens in small towns

My heart sped up

As some of the memories rushed back

Even though you’re here with him

I’m glad to see you moving on

Trying to be happy

There’s no reason we can’t be civil

We don’t have to

But what could it hurt

I know you well

Like the back of my hand

After all we’ve been through

A friendship should be easy

Being cordial

So let’s just be us

Like old times

This is me you’re talking to

Telegraph Hill

I hear the sounds of John Mellencamp

Even though I don’t know him

As the parrots start to sing

Coming alive on Telegraph Hill

The blinding sun on the stark building

Empty along the lines of their nature

The enchantment of red and green

Building the excitements as feathers swarm

The blizzard of hair needing attention

While consuming your fading memory

How can you possibly understand

All the seeds blowing the buildings

That seems so clear moments ago

But your eyes are no longer there

Don’t you see them with the red and green blur

Setting there up on the white house of dreams

From All Corners Of The Room

I look around the room

The mystification clear

So beautifully evident

Yet you don’t seem to notice

You’re unaware when it happens

Lost in your world

Everybody loves you

They hang on to your every word

Rapt with attention

Staring from all corners of the room

And still I wonder

Are you alone and lonely

Does anyone grace you

With their presence

Make you feel like more

Than some attraction

Hold you in the dark

Show you something

Purer than adoration

Give you love

Show you things hidden

Yearn for you out of necessity

Love you for the inside

Not just the outside

That Smile Gets Me Every Time

A rare night for us

A night out on the town

In this place you glow

Sparkle like the woman

I fell in love with

Will you dance with me

I’ll hold you close

Held in a loving embrace

Stare into your eyes

That smile gets me every time

The music is just background noise

Nothing else seems to matter

As long as I hold you

Lost in this embrace

Swaying to and fro

In love as ever

Transported Back In Time

How many years has it been

Since we said goodbye

Too many to remember

Yet in this crowded room

I catch your eyes

And my heart stops

I haven’t thought of you in so long

Yet here we are

Same room, same time

It happens every time

The crowd and noise fades away

Seeing only you

The memories attack

All the good times

When we were together

I wonder

Does seeing me do the same

Do you freeze for a moment

Transported back in time

Waiting for your heart to start

Do you understand the feeling

That will never go away

Like closing my eyes and seeing

Someone I used to know

You Think You Know Me

You think you know me

Yet you’re so far off

The truth not even coming close

You feel you have me pegged

Though I’m over here

With you so far away

Miles from the mark

How could you truly know

When I never let you in

Let the walls come down

With no invitation

You’re just an outsider

Not seeing past the exterior

Of what I allow people to see

Do we ever really know someone

What makes them tick

What’s at the core of them

You think you know

And still you have no idea

Who I really am

Slowly Loses Its Vibrancy

Every night without you

I feel a little less

The memories start to fade

What was once rich and colorful

Slowly loses its vibrancy

The memories were what I clung to

Yet here they are

Leaving me now

Just the same as you

Cold and distant

Cruel and unforgiving

No signs of a goodbye

Until it’s too late

I only realized

When I searched for them

Less and less as the hour’s tick by

They were the only friends

I could seem to find

But everyone and everything leaves

Taking the light with them

So I’m left here

Crumbling and disparate

Hope being the only item left

To continue on

Are You Happy

I hear about you

When someone speaks your name

I wonder how you are

Are you happy

Does he make you happy

Is he the one

You were looking for

The one that completes you

Cause that was never me

We had fun

Random walks on the beach

Nights of pleasure and fun

Yet it wasn’t enough

When it all came down to it

I wasn’t what you needed

So we wished each other well

Left before it became too much

Destiny wasn’t in our cards

Can It Ever Be The Same

Can it ever be the same

When someone has strayed

Left one on the side of the road

Or at home alone

Can you rebuild it once it’s gone

Once you’ve seen it

Two hands entwined

One pair new

The other wearing your ring

The one who took the vows

Somehow forgotten

Neglected…like you

Can you forgive the other

Move on and begin again

Do you just leave

A note on a table as the goodbye

Just words on a paper

Or the punch to the gut

When realization sinks in

How the actions are destructive

Slowly killing the love

Till it’s buried and dead

Gone for good

Like the rings no longer on their finger

Another Lonely Night

Another lonely night

Roaming this town

Looking for somewhere to go

Nowhere specific in mind

Trying to keep you at bay

We both know the truth

You’re no good for me

Bring out all the worst in me

So we come and we go

Falling in and falling out

Remembering the good times

But I know it never lasts

You’ll be gone

And I’ll be here

Waking up alone

My phone rings

Your picture popping up

Just as I’m about to tap decline

I think why not

What’s the worst that could happen

Two old friends

So I pick up and say hello…